Behind every action, there is a motive. Today, I will share my motive with you. Growing up, I was never the "skinny girl" among my friend group. They all wore smalls and size 0 jeans, while I was wearing a medium or large and size 5 jeans. I continually found myself to be what I considered "fat." I never loved my body back then, but I am slowly starting to fall in love with my body now.
While I was preparing for college, I heard and seen a lot about the "freshman 15" online. I became really scared that I would be the next statistic to this, and I did. Although I didn't gain the exact freshman 15, I weighed more at the end of the year than when I first began. During my first year, I kept telling myself to eat healthy and to go to the gym. I'm really good at being good, healthy and clean with my diet and physical activity for a week, and then completely stopping for any and every excuse in the book. Thankfully, walking around on campus helped me with my physical activity and played a huge part in not gaining the full 15 pounds.
My second year at App came around, and I was ready to start a new routine. "New school year, new me" was always my motto. I came in super pumped to get back in shape and to just live a healthier lifestyle. However, that didn't follow through my first semester back. I would workout for a week, and then use another excuse to not workout. And I just kept repeating this cycle. I always complained about my body, but never did anything about it.
Fast forward to the most cliche and basic moment in my life. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up, and being heartbroken, I was set on transforming myself and having a "glow up" because of a man who didn't see worth in me. That's why I started using working out as my escape. In November, I worked out at least three times a week for the entire month. When I came back to school after winter break, I was in the gym five times a week. Every week for the next five months. I started buying healthier groceries every time and watched what I ate. I limited myself to junk food and soda but didn't restrict myself. I felt so good; I saw changes in my body and so did others.
At first, I thought I was working out and getting in shape for him. But now, I realize that I work out and live a healthier lifestyle for me. If there's anything I have learned throughout my fitness journey, it's that my fitness journey involves only one person, and that is me. My mental, emotional and physical health will fall back on me, not on someone else. And that is why my motive is me.
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